SILENCE

The WORLD lay silenced

Below a blanket of snow

WINTER, dressed in her silver finery  dances below the moonbeams

Trees  dripping with crystal raise the sound of toasting to welcome the cold grasp of WINTER

Come dance with me, if you dare … she beckons

But beware

Of my frozen heart and glassy stare

Come lay beneath  the blanket of snow

Let me

Silence you
and the 

WORLD
lays
SILENT

I WRITE 

I write to GIVE
I write to share LOVE
I write to paint pictures of times and places and the SPACES of HEART
I write, is a rare and beautiful phrase less and less common
I Create ... something from nothing... 
I Build dreams and castles that are not in the air but rooted firmly in words that at some point will be spoken and declared as truth and hope and LIFE .............. 

I WRITE... 
as a means for my spirit to sing!
I write ............. Open hearted and loving, wholly beautiful ...............
to touch and change and bring LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
YEAH LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
I write as my soul DANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
YEAH LIFE!

"And all of a sudden His goodness sank in, now I'm covered in tears of JOY that I want to put in a jar for times when I'm feeling down."  Mia Kalabina 

How can I cry these bitter sweet tears
and not  know that I've heard your voice
that I've truly known your presence?

How can I cry these bitter sweet tears
and not know I've felt
YOU
standing
next
to
me
?

How can I cry these bitter sweet tears
and not DANCE
a DANCE
to end all dances ..
a DANCE OF JOY AND JUBILEE

a time of GREAT CELEBRATION? 

Bitter only because I should have danced way sooner!
Sweet only because YOUR just happy I dance and am ready to DANCE the rest of my LIFE AWAY!!!

Not looking back or regretting .... not one moment from the past!

TIME TO DANCE!

UP .........

HE IS

HE Is the GOD of the IMPOSSIBLES

He is hope, salvation

HE is creator of all good things with one broad outstretched arm HE creates

             He creates with a whisper  in a moment or   a thought.   HE is the writer of the script .. the melody and the harmony HE is..... the Song that beats

and the rhythm of my heart.
 HE is the colors that I see... the breath that I breath . . HE is air to my... lungs.... 

His words beat,  tick . . EXPLODE  inside of me -to push and pull me closer to HIM ...HE .. is mercy and grace..  peace and JOY ..

HE is ...

HE IS .. all, that is all, the total sum . . I.. am .. just HIS. HE drives me to be,  closer to HIM ..HE is ..HE is the sum total of all parts and pieces and without him we are ..I am ..  nothing. ...
HE is the encourger that pours from my lips..HE is the lover of my soul..HE is who loves YOU thru me ...
HE is .. HE loves the broken,hurt,thrown away .. 

the useless,usedup,tossed upon the shore... garbage.. to RESCUE, RENEW , REFURBISH, REPURPOSE . . HE is the rEdeemer of us for HIS GLORY.... 
 HE reached down from heavenly places to . . whisper . . OH HOW I LOVE YOU ... Let me be the HOPE in YOU for all the world to SEE . . Let me .. USE YOU ... for in YOUR useless state .. the world will see IT IS ME .. that works thru YOU ... 
 HE is the writer, the poet .. the aroma . . . sweetness itself .. lover .. friend... God... creator .. CREATE .. be like me HE whispers ... I yearn to be.. more like HIM  .........

HE is the Revival ... the revival that's not WAITING to be BIRTHED .. HE IS the REVIVAL that is HERE and NOW! HIS KINGDOM COME HIS WILL BE DONE... We carry it within US.. as WE CARRY HIM . . . . What are you waiting for . . let HIS GLORY thru YOU . . allow those you encounter have a GOD ENCOUNTER ...... IF we keep waiting for 'it' to happen . . are you living IN what your called to BE and DO in the NOW? WE are to BE, HIM! .. HIS hands, HIS feet, HIS MOUTH ... to a hurt and broken world... BE.. NOW ... BE the REVIVAL .. and prophesy !!!!!!!! I dare you!

How can we escape a world that, by it’s very nature tries to destroy what love is?

How can we protect our hearts, our minds our souls from the rejection that is laid at every corner?  

From every abusive word spoken from our parents or siblings. . . the withholding of love and affection from that small child that just wanted ‘their’ attention, their affirmation,  their love!

 How do we …. protect ourselves from the broken relationships that for whatever reason or another didn’t work out and has left the feelings of rejection – your not enough, your not what I need, your not .. your not.. your not echoing thru our minds repeating like a drum to the headless horseman that likes to ride thru your dreams reminding you of who you are in the hours that your alone??

YOUR NOT!

When did… when did loving someone become so frightening ?? So beyond the feeling of helplessness to wanting to run?  Run ……………… run!  Where am I running, who am I running  too.. what am I running from?  Has all this training, like a marathon runner, done this seasoned life olympian any good?  No ……. So, if the result from running has left us, battered and bruised… tired and alone because we’ve left the pack so far behind - - why is our first response always to run??     

 Me, I’ve run from God, I’ve run from His love … He’s slowed me down, stopped me in my tracks and lovingly so lovingly has walked me thru the haunted places in my heart from when I was a little girl and then a young woman . . where pain was planted and took root . .

Together, we pulled them out . . and HE spoke healing and restoration over me . . to prepare me for more of HIS GREAT LOVE … He cleansed the  garden . . tiled it up, readied the soil for a GREAT SEASON of LOVE with a mate. . .

As He’s done that …. Why then, from time to time … do I still hear repeating in my head...RUN?

Why do we, some of you and some of ME battle these things?

I chose to lay those shoes aside . . to continue to allow the Lord to heal those broken parts of me . . and to see myself as the Lord tells me, how HE sees ME ………  My calling may be different, my anointing different, the way I walk my walk and talk my talk may be different .. . . and I don’t  ‘see’ the power in who I am but who HE is thru me ……… I just see, the broken me……………… rather helpless and fragile … weak and wounded ..  but MIGHTY WARRIOR when HE uses ME!   

My GREATEST DESIRE is and will always be more of HIM.. less of me. . .  More of the heart pounding, ever increasing love that He lavishes on me. . . there is freedom in knowing that love. . there is revelation in that love of WHO I AM in HIM . . . there is mercy in that love and restoration to the wings that were once clipped to stay earth bound . . but now to soar above the earth, to fly instead of run . .

Teach me to love Lord . . teach me to hold still to allow someone to, even love me! 

For God so LOVED that HE GAVE  …………….  Let me learn to GIVE even when hurt is around the corner for me …. Teach me to be generous and true in that love like YOU!

In the quiet of the night I meet you there... Where you pick up the load I've carried

Lay it down you whisper . . I've already finished this work . . lay it down you whisper . . I've already finished this work.

I look up at the cross as you stand beside me

once a lamb that went to the slaughter

NOW stands before me a KING, a man of WAR..

FOREVER VICTORIOUS

 Lay it all down, the work has been finished....

The work has been finished he says again as he stretched out his nail scared hand

IT IS FINISHED

Real, Honest and Out of Control

GOD WANTS US

REAL, RAW AND HONEST

i don't need to get annointed
 I AM ANNOINTED
for I AM the child of the KING

Live your life in the EBB and FLOW of Humanity
all unto
HIM

Working - as UNTO HIM
Praising - as UNTO HIM

REAL, Honest and Out of CONTROL

Transparency of LIFE
is
Contagious

TRANSPARENT BEFORE GOD
FRIEND, COMFORTER ...

YOU are with us ..
NOTHING is impossibe

Fourth Watch

In the early morning hours

I hear you beckon me

Awake, arise my love!

In the early morning hours

I hear you beckon me

Come

In the early morning hours

I hear you beckon me

with the names of your children

In the early morning hours

I hear you whisper their names

their needs

You Press

upon

my heart

Pray

(selah)

In the early morning hours

You set
a watchman
upon the wall

(selah)

I stand upon the wall

feeling

small

I stand upon the wall asking

why me?

I stand upon the wall

and I listen

I hear the enemy say

Your broken and flawed

- you -
sinner that faulters

stumble

stumble

stumble

from the wall

I SAY

YES, I am broken and flawed and I stumble often

BUT it is by

GRACE

That HE

That HE

That HE has chosen me
 to
STAND
UPON the WALL

I am HIS

WATCHMEN UPON THE WALL



I harken unto
HIS CALL


I
pray

"But in the fourth watch of the night, Yeshua came unto them while he was walking on the water." Matthew 14:25    (this is about 3:00am)
“I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower and will watch to see what He will say unto me and what I shall answer when I am reproved.” Habakkuk 2:1

" I have posted watchmen on your walls, Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night.
You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest,  and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth." Isaiah 62:6

Ask, Seek, Knock

(Mat 7:7-8) "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (8) For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

One warm summer morning I was laying on the floor praying asking of the Lord how do I draw closer to you?  I asked Holy Spirit to guide me to scriptures and reveal to me how to grow closer to himself and the Lord.  At that time I started to drift in and out of sleep.  The Lord and Holy Spirit gently spoke to me in a dream as I lay there before Him.

The dream started and I was in a city of stone.  Arched doorways held heavy wooden doors fastened together with metal findings and latches.  Burdensome, old doors beckoned me forward.  I heard the Lord tell me, “You’ve asked for my heart, you are seeking me now… now, it’s time to knock.”   I stood before the door and I knocked quietly not knowing what to expect.  Apprehensively, I began to knock slightly harder.  With each knock on the door I felt the Lord urging me to knock louder.  I did so.  Then yet another urge to press and knock even harder upon the door.   I started knocking and crying out to the Lord, so hard and ferociously that my knuckles started to bleed.  I knocked and knocked and knocked, but no answer.  I felt urged again to keep going.  I pressed past the pain, the bloodied knuckles, the exhaustion and I pounded the door with all my might.   I then lay at a heap at the bottom of the door, spent, exhausted, whimpering … barely able to raise my hand.  At that moment, completely used up and broken I became aware that someone had opened the door.  I felt myself being cradled in His arms.  He lovingly moved the hair from my face and I could hear Him whisper to me, you have learned what it means to KNOCK.

  “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find ; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. “ Matthew 7:7-8

As in my personal experience above, the Lord answers those that seek to find Him.  His desire is not only for you to ‘find’ Him, it is still deeper – to fellowship and abide with Him and have a love relationship with Him. 

“9 Which of you , if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, you will give him a snake?  If you then though you are evil , know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those that ask him!”  Matthew 7: 9-11

The desire of the Lord is that we simply turn our will over to Him and allow ourselves to take on HIS will for our lives.  When we seek the face and will of the Father and ask to be led by Holy Spirit we then start to seek and ask for things that are clearly in His will for our lives.    When we ask, seek and knock after those things the Father tells us:  “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

What are the things that the Lord so freely wants to give to us?  His desire is to gift to us those things that empower us in our daily life in Him and to walk in step with Holy Spirit.   “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5: 22-23

The Lord’s desire is for us to grow even further in our walk with Him by spurring on those in the body of Christ that surround us.   With that He gives us the gifts of the Spirit.  “ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for common good.  To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues and to still another the interpretation of tongues.  All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one just as he determines.”  1 Corinthians 12: 7-11

With these gifts the Lord also sets up a parameter on how we are to operate and use these gifts.  It’s simple:  “Love NEVER FAILS.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled, where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part , but when perfection comes the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man I put childish ways behind me.  Now, we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now, I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  Galatians 13: 8-12

As we ask, seek and knock, the Lord opens the door and we are before Him and in HIS love and mercy He stoops down to us and let’s us know that HE has opened the door and we are fully known.

It’s HIS desire to open the door, it’s my desire to knock until HE opens!

Hope to the Hopeless

Ezekiel 37

" 11Then He said to me, Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, Our bones are dried up and our hope is lost; we are completely cut off.
12Therefore prophesy and say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Behold, I will open your graves and cause you to come up out of your graves, O My people; and I will bring you [back home] to the land of Israel."

The Lord was teaching Ezekiel how to prophecy. The Lord gave him the words to say...

When our hope is dead or fading away, we are to speak into our lifes situation. We are to take this example and learn to use the word of God and HIS promises over ourselves.

We fight against our own 'fleshly nature', our own' inner voice', that speaks death over who we are, what we are and what we are capable of doing thru Christ.  We need to learn to battle the enemy and our flesh by using the word of God and His promises over ourselves as tools of spiritual warfare.

Just a few examples of God's Promises that you can pray/speak over yourself:

PEACE
" Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
" And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:7

PRAYER
" Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12
"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24
" This is the assurance we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14

PROTECTION
"The Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7, 8
" When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames willnot set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:1,2
"But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm" Proverbs 1:33
 
SALVATION
" But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour. " Titus 3:4-6
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Cor 5:17
 
SUCCESS
" That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God." Ecc 3:13
"Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy with his work---this is a gift of God." Ecc 5:19
" With me are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity. My fruit is better than fine gold; what I yield surpasses choice silver." Proverbs 8: 18,19

TRUST
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5,6
"Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust...." Psalm 40:4

WISDOM
"For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:5
".....He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths...." Isaiah 2:3

WORD OF GOD
" Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Deut. 11:18
" All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training and righteousness. " 2 Tim.3:15.16
" The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12
" Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. " Acts 20:32

We can not get stuck in the trap of talking negatively over ourselves and our situations.  Our tongues speak life and death... speak LIFE!  The work was finished on the CROSS and the Lord did not leave anything undone!

I daily have to give myself a pep talk and a reminder of who CHRIST is and WHAT HE has ALREADY accomplished.  I have to rest and have peace that HE does not and can not lie and that HIS WORD is correct!  My job is to speak HIS words over myself and to PRAISE HIM for the works He has accomplished and is currently working on in my behalf!!!  

Refocus on HIS goodness and WHO HE is in your situation . . . HE has many promises and NONE have been Broken!

GIFT

"What you are is God's gift to you. What you can become is your gift to Him. YOU teach a little by what you say. You teach the most by what YOU ARE." - Dr. Henrietta C. Mears.

Dr. Henrietta Mears inspired many thru her mentoring including Billy Grahmam who has been quoted saying that "She is certainly one of the greatest Christians I have ever known!"

What an honor to be remembered by those that you have in your life for even a short time period!  As I am now on my fifth day of being back in the states and thinking about what the last three months have meant to me in Jerusalem.  I can not even begin to express the overwhelming desire to go back.  Is it because of the physical place?  Is it because of the people that I've left behind?  Is it because of my classmates and teachers and the irrefutable changes that have occurred in me?

I'd say, it has almost everything to do with the people.

There were times in the classroom that I was blown away by the students who most, if not all I would call teachers.  The depth and breadth of the knowledge of the Bible at times was almost incomprehensible for me.  Then to see their hearts were so in love with the Lord - and to listen as they shared.  I was humbled by what the Lord was and is doing in their lives.   They preached and taught as seasoned veterans of the word with great insight and understanding and I was 'schooled'!  They are full of LOVE and administered it on a daily basis - THAT is what being a CHRISTIAN is all about - LOVE under all circumstances - putting others first!

The teachers:  Challenging...life changing!  Open to long discussions, debates and discourses with me:)  Weather during class or over a cup of tea or a late night debate around the kitchen table.  Both challenging each other to open up, to hear the Lord.. to allow HIM and Holy Spirit to expand our minds and hearts.  I know I grew because of those discussions and I am grateful for each challenge each teacher brought to me.

Those that abide in the land of Jerusalem.  How I cherish the times sitting in the shops with the shopkeepers.  How in those moments my thoughts and pre-conceived ideas of Israel and her people were forever changed.   I was schooled on what it means to be a Muslim, a Jew, an Israeli, a Palestinian, a Christian, an Arab, a man, a woman.  I was shown hospitality, generosity, kindness and in many cases love.  I was protected and watched over. I was encouraged and prayed for . . I was laughed at and with!  I was admonished, broken, hurt and that was generally because of lack of communication or miscommunication because of translation and culture.  I was taught about culture and barriers.  I was told your my sister, my friend and family.

Then those that extended their friendship outside of the shops and school and opened up their lives to me as friends and family.. long conversations, breaking of bread, tears and laughter.  Walking thru the Promised Land that really isn't all that "HOLY".  Sharing what the Lord was doing in each of us at that moment...  Praying and crying .. singing and praising.  Listening, encouraging and teaching each other. .   Creating.  Creating a life that was intertwined and that will always be something that has changed me!

I have been lovingly taught by each person that has crossed my path.  Most of you will never know how much you've changed me.  Most of you will never know really how much I love you... Most of you will never know how much you've taught me. 

I pray that as each of you have impacted me - that in some small way - I have impacted you for the good!   Remember students.. we are always planting something - weather from the flesh or from the spirit - and each of those seeds multiply!

I know I walked in the flesh from time to time and I pray that the bird of the air eat up those seeds not to return (LORD FORGIVE ME) .. but there were those sweet times of sharing things that were straight from Holy Spirit and I pray that those seeds multiply, increase and bring in a great harvest!

The cry of my heart will always be:
Lord, send me where you will .. teach me to love those you wish me to love ...
Teach me how to teach, let my hands be your hands . . .
Let me serve . . .
Make me more like you!!

Thank you Father - for answering all those prayers in Jerusalem, Spring of 2012
Thank you for also . . answering those prayers every day!!!