Stripped and Shaken

There are those times in my life that I have been stripped of pride, dignity, love and affection... there are times that my heart has been stripped of JOY and forget about happiness....

There are times that my heart has been left trampled upon the floor and I stand like an outsider looking down at it beating as a fish out of water hoping some passerby would pick it up...

There are times that all dreams seemed to have grown wings and flew away... there are other times that the dreams danced with the heart on the floor dying... laying there gasping for a breath . . .

There are times when everything is stripped away ... YET even in those times when I've allowed my eyes to remain on the Lord and not on circumstances.. not on those around me or what the world would say but allow you to speak into my heart, my existence as a woman ... that STILL, in the STILLNESS I feel you there .. I feel your breath upon me as you hear me pray and whisper your name.

I gather strength, not my own, but I am infused with you - your essence, your light, your care, your power, your might ... it looks different in this shell of me .... it manifests in hugs and laughter.. joy from the Lord.. it manifests in words of encouragement ... it manifests in YOUR words flowing from what once was my mouth to sing over those you put close to me ...

I'm not the same creature as I once was ... not enamored with power ... of what I COULD DO .. HOW I could make things happen.. seems like a life - that is not even familiar to me now ...

This season...things have been stripped once again and now the shaking starts to occur ... as I take a big step of faith going to Israel, way sooner than I was told I was to go originally ... and start to prepare QUICKLY everything I set my hand too .. seems to .. well, not budge or move .. even tho I know I am to go... HE is setting HIMSELF up for a spectacular miracle! My heart not too worried about it, yet doing my due dilligence.. then I find my mama is very ill and about to undergo surgery... It's like really LORD? ? ? Stripped and shaken to my very core...

I have no choice in my spirit other than to jump forward at what you've put in front of me ... I'm frightened .. but I will jump...

I will see my mama before I go ... and as I move forward to where you have me go Lord I give her and all I have .. I trust you...

Don't let me go ...

God... you say you love the contrite heart ..
you must love me soooooooooooooooo

In the stripped and shaken place.. where I am exposed ... find me in that place and I pray you say YOU are well pleased... I am nothing without you ... and I strive to be nothing apart from you ...

Poured out ...
stripped and continually shaken

Transparency

Today I sit here and wonder....

About TRANSPARENCY ...

In my past, it has been a strength to HIDE my weaknesses, my faults, my vulnerability...
To keep people at bay
away from the heart of me

The part of me that is vulnerable, frightened, so terrible sweet and precious, wounded, broken, lovely, passionate, quiet, warrior, ponderer ...

Today, I shared with someone a place where I am weak (my flesh) ... it was difficult to admit my weakness ...
However, in sharing what could cause me to 'stumble'
By being OPEN ... TRANSPARENT ... it TOOK away the power of the weakness

THEN, THEN, THEN ...

I see

STRAIGHT THRU

IT IS TRANSPARENT ...

The weakness that had a HOLD of me, frightened, and holding on tight to hide my fault ...

I RELEASED IT and by ADMITTING my weakness and bringing it to the LIGHT OF DAY and HOLDING MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE ...letting others know and by asking - - please help me - - I do not want to stumble..

In my weakness GOD became GLORIFIED ...
Finally
HE, GOD in ME was more important
THAN
the Frightened, me

My desire is to keep my eyes on HIM ...
Keep myself close to HIM

HE is my protector especially in my weakness!

In my weakness you might see ...
many things ...

but if you look with God's eyes ...
you will see ...

me

and I am ... lovely ..
I carry HIS fragrance upon my skin!

To LOVE

To love .......... The power of God is most evident to me in HIS love for us, in His love for me.

Love is what breaks the chains that bind us.. love is what grows and sustains our hope. Love is what brings light to us and it is, in turn, the light that shines out of us.

WHEN we learn to love, with God's heart - - not manipulating people or loving only as a tool of self-service and self-gratification... then .. then .. maybe that is when we finally start to hear God the loudest.. Is that bringing heaven to earth? His kingdom come, HIS will be done?

From the time that we are newborns, we learn to cry out.. to give love as a means of survival and could it be possible that even then in the smallest and sweetest of states that we are learning to manipulate, learning to give to receive? Learning it's all about 'me'?

Could it be.. that we need to unlearn what is basically our fleshly instinct?


1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Amplified Bible (AMP)

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Let me encourage you today to ask the LORD to teach you how to love like HE does, in fact ask Him LORD LOVE thru me today!

The greatest gift that we can ever give is that we love unselfishly. That we put others needs before ourselves, our fleshly desires..

I know for me, it is an on-going lesson.
I've wanted to reach out and touch someone physically and the Lord told me "NO, you need to pray for them instead" ... At that moment, I was learning to put their welfare above my 'fleshly' desire to comfort them. THEY did not need the comfort as much as they needed the prayer - -

TEACH me LORD, how to really LOVE ... is my prayer today.

Thank you to all my friends that allow me to learn this lesson! Thank you for your grace and mercy as I learn to open up, be transparent .. and learn how to love!!

JOY ... and the Investors

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." (Heb. 12:1)

Hebrews 12:1 says we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. Down here on earth we are surrounded by that great cloud of witnesses and they are watching us. They have a right to observe us because they invested their lives in us while they were upon the earth. We are their investments they are our investors!

Heaven is waiting for us to make a commitment to Jesus so the Father can commit things to us. We’re on the verge of some of the greatest healings of all time, the greatest miracles of all time, the greatest outpouring of love of all time. We’re getting ready for joy and gladness to fall upon the dedicated Christians. There is such an abundance of blessings that the Lord wants to pour onto, and into, each of us that is willing to walk in His fullness and obedience.

Are you a ready and willing vessel? .. Are you willing to allow the work of the Lord to be done thru you? Are YOU willing to allow HIS JOY to pour thru you? Are you willing to allow HIS LOVE to be demonstrated thru you to others? Even those that the world thinks as 'unloveable and untouchable'?

The investors are waiting for each of us to do our part .. they are JOYFUL in every step we take, cheering us each on into our God designed destiny! Awaiting for us to bring in the harvest - the return of their investment!

Praying today that HIS JOY is overflowing in each of us.. and that HIS LIFE CHANGING LOVE OVERFLOWS ...

What is FAITH?

What is Faith? (Thoughts by Kristi)

"By faith Abraham... obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (Hebrews 11:8)

What role does faith play in your life? Is it something you hold on to in your heart for only those things you can't quite explain? Or have you experienced the faith that opens a door into another world?

Early in the Gospel of Matthew, we read, "the kingdom of heaven is near." Matthew records over 30 comments about this invisible kingdom that came to us through Christ. In the midst of our tangible world of observable stuff, faith opens our eyes to this new reality. In the book of Hebrews, we read that faith "is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Hebrews goes on to say, "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Do we see faith as a convenient catch-all for the quirks of life that lack an immediate explanation? Or are we experiencing the reward of earnestly seeking "the God who is there" . That means taking the reality of God's existence into every corner of our lives. It means trusting in a good and sovereign God despite our circumstances and bringing Him glory by believing when we do not see.

For me, I am exercising my Faith muscle every day! This past year has been a journey without a road map of what is in front of me, yet when I look BACK at the road behind me I see a glimpse of where He is taking me... I see the changes in my life and KNOW that I would have not chosen these roads for myself.

Now.. looking back, I see parts of my old self laying on the roadside, I am happy to have shed them to start to become the person that the Lord wants me to be. Maybe for me, I have had to cast off all the old 'stuff' ... At what point in my life did my own self sufficient ways cloud my trust and faith in God?

How does faith affect your life? Do you think and live differently because of the certainty of things you cannot see? Or, DO YOU LIMIT GOD'S Power in YOUR LIFE because you do NOT have FAITH that HE WILL GUIDE YOU and MEET YOUR NEEDS? Are you AFRAID, to "let go and LET GOD?" Afraid to stop having so much faith in yourself, your decisions and your abilities?... Do you step forward in faith - on the road unseen... in the direction of the Son?

Let me leave you with this thought from "Streams in the Desert - August 23"...

"Genuine faith also looks up and sails, by using God's great Son. It never travels by seeing the shoreline, earthly lighthouses, or paths along the way. And the steps of faith often lead to total uncertainty or even darkness and disaster, but the Lord will open the way and often makes the darkest of midnight hours as bright as the dawning of the day."

Let us move forth today, not knowing or seeing, but trusting." (from Days of Heaven upon Earth)

Too many of us want to see our way through a new endeavor before we will even start. Imagine if we could see our way from beginning to end. How would we ever develop our Christian gifts? Faith, Hope, and Love cannot be picked from trees, like ripe apples. Remember, after the words "In the beginning" (Gen. 1:1) comes the word "God." it is our first step of faith that turns the key in the lock of His powerhouse. It is true that God helps those who help themselves, but He also helps those who are helpless. so no matter your circumstance, you can depend on Him every time.

Waiting on God brings us to the end our journey much faster than our feet.

Many an opportunity is lost while we deliberate after He has said "MOVE".

GOOD FORM

We often hear the terminology "Good Form" associated with a movement of the body, in example, exercise.

This morning I was thinking about the EXERCISE of my spiritual being. Christians are spiritual beings living in an earthly body. As I was performing my physical exercise - I was also thinking about what it means to exercise spiritually and how the term "FORM" would translate or look like. This is my thoughts....

Faith Only Requires Movement

FAITH ONLY REQUIRES MOVEMENT IN THE DIRECTION HE COMMANDS...

HOLD STILL - - > This movement or action in the spirit will Strengthen your muscles and grow your weaponry (listening, obedience).

KNEEL - - > This is alignment vertically and upward. Praying and listening (listening being so important and a learned skill).

MOVEMENT TO THE RIGHT AND TO THE LEFT - - > This is alignment in the body HORIZONTALLY in relationships with those around you. To lift them up, encourage them... forgive them. Practice your mercy and grace. To use the relationships around you to walk out Isaiah 58, to feed the hungry, to cloth the naked to break the chains of the oppressed.

Today, as I prepare for Brazil I ask the Lord to not only strengthen my body when I exercise physically, but continue to pour into me as I press and push even more into HIM. I ask HIM to continually coach me on 'GOOD FORM' spiritually!

Praise God!

Brazil - Go into ALL the WORLD and PREACH the GOSPEL

Dear Friends and Family,

I sit here in the office looking at the calendar and realizing how quickly those spring and now summer months have gone and are going by. As many of you know, I will be going on a mission trip to Rio De Janerio, Brazil with a small, but powerful team. We are leaving August 4th -14. Our team has vast and varied strengths which I am sure will make ministering together amazing.

Our team leader, Pastor Mike Wloczewski, has led small teams to Rio over the last three years establishing relationships and building a strong foundation from which we now how the privilege to minister from. Pastor Mike and his team have planted seeds in the “favellas” (slums) of Rio. They have conducted sermons in the Jail of Rio. Evangelized to the drug lords on the streets of Caju and have spoken to over 1,000 secular high school students in the City of God from the Word of God, now that is FAVOR!

Brazil is the largest and most populous country in South America with 187,393,918 people. It is the fifth largest country by geographical area, and the fifth most populous country in the world. Its population comprises the majority of the world’s Portugese speakers. Approximately 15.4% of the population is Protestant Christian. Rio is often in the world news at this point in history because of the extreme unrest in the favellas. Officials in Rio de Janeiro have deployed new “peace police” units to the slum as part of an ambitious plan to wrest control from drug gangs.

I believe that the time is right for me to step abroad once again – in boldness, totally in love with my Savior believing that HE is sending me and KNOWING that HE will use me mightily. With that same boldness I have to make my ‘request’ known.
Would you please prayerfully consider PARTNERING WITH ME?!

Can you and I together team up - allowing OUR prayers to cover the trip and the team? Can you and I team up allowing OUR hands and feet to be used by God to hold the children of Brazil, to encourage the inmates in Rio, to speak life into the young adults?

It is my prayer that you will be excited about the opportunity to join me in prayer and support financially. We need lots of prayer. The areas we will enter continue to be dangerous and volatile, so we need coverage before and during the trip.

Funding as always is vital! We still need help to cover the expense of travel and some in country costs. We’ll be staying in the homes of the pastors and congregation as much as possible to help minimize the trip costs. The cost of the trip is approximately $2500.00.

I personally want to thank each of you for partnering with me in whatever way the Lord leads you.

Together, you and I can and will make a difference… reaching out in love.

As always, donations are tax deductible. Please contact me and I will be happy to share where to send funding etc.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” - Matthew 28:18-20

I have a TESTIMONY... Obedience

Testimony: 2. Evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something

Part of me is very uncomfortable sharing this... BUT, God deserves the glory and I am hopin that in me sharing and being obedient that someone is blessed and encouraged by my experience.

Sunday morning during tithe and offering ... I kept feeling impressed on my heart to give a certain amount of money. The amount of money was equal to what I have put away for the mission trip to Brazil ... which was ALL I HAVE AT THIS TIME... ((AND I am ridiculously behind in my donations)). The amount was $500.00.

I sat in my seat.. and this is the conversation going on inside of my head:

"Give $500.00" - Holy Spirit
" HUH?!!!! Where'd that come from???!!!!" - Kristi
"Trust me, give $500.00" - Holy Spirit
"crap, I'm hearing things... hmmm, am I trying to maniuplate God?" - Kristi
"Trust me... do you remember when you gave the $50.00 and I returned it?" = Holy Spirit
" Ya, manipulation..maybe not... hmmmm, God... is that you? " - Kristi
" Yes, trust me...."
" God, I'm freaked out, you KNOW I don't have what I need for the trip, God ...crap.. what if I'm hearing my flesh and it's not you.. then I'm soooo freak'n screwed" - KRISTI

SILENCE

"God" ((Kristi gett'n antzy)) "God" (sigh) .. "God" "Ok, I'm going to write a check for $500.00, and if I am going to err.. I'm going to do it in the direction in believing it's you... I am going to do it believing you got it... GOD I'm freaked out.... (sigh and GULP as offer bucket is gett'n closer) .... Deep breath ... "JUMP into the deep end, JUMP into HIM with no net, JUMP KRISTI JUMP" - - Kristi

I hear .. nothing but silence... as I write the check.... I feel ... nervousness and peace all at the same time...

I place the tithe in the bucket ... I stand up quickly out of my seat .... I SING LOUDLY ... I PRAISE HIS NAME... I REJOICE!!!!!! HOT tears start to run down my face as I look up and say Daddy, you gotta catch me.. even if I made a mistake.. I believe you know my heart so catch me... I remind HIM that all I want to do, is live for HIM .. all I want to do is be a living sacrifice poured out to HIM upon HIS FEET ...

I remind HIM what HE named me...
Daddy, you NAMED ME MARY.... Daddy I am MARY of Bethany.. even in the bible Mary of Bethany poured her oil upon your feet...

Daddy you gave me the SAME NAME... I am made to worship you .... hot tears run down my face... and then I smile, cuz I know HE hears me and He whispers something sweet to me....

So I composed myself... and enjoyed the morning service which was about missions! :)

Then tonight.. I went to N.C.C... and someone asked me about my trip .. and where I was in my funding ... I simply said, I am very short.. to embarrassed to say I tithed what I had saved... ((crazy woman did what? )) .... and the person said they had a check for me.... he wrote it out and came and found me... and put it in my hand and I promptly planted a big kiss on his cheek.. not knowing what he had written it for I stuck it in my pocket.

THEN during worship in the cafe... I pulled the check out of my pocket .. and started weeping ....

The check was for $500.00!!!!

I tell you all of that to say this... GOD HEARS YOU! God cares about every detail ... God knows your heart ... God knows your desires... GOD LOVES obedience and in the times that you squirm to try to stay in obedience HE takes GREAT PLEASURE in seeing YOU JUMP into HIS arms... that's HIS greatest pleasure I think... to be standing on the side of a giant platform... kinda holding my breath.. knees shaking... but BRAVE at the same time... BRAVE enough to jump ((even when the world says your going to go splat, even when my brain tells me its stupid and painful and irresponsible)) ...

He finds delight in that JUMP..... and when you do jump... YOU FLY and there is FREEDOM....

He caught me...

Let me encourage you to JUMP .....

Praise GOD for HIS faithfulness and mercy ... and HIS favor on His children....

thanks for allowing me to share! I give GOD all the GLORY and HONOR ... and I just want to praise HIM!!!

((Yes, my name is Mary.. and I was born in Bethany, Ohio... so, Mary of Bethany is my name and I know why I was created.. to Worship HIM and pour out upon HIM!)) ..

MkB

Ashlee's Quest

Ashlee's Quest

I come to you for guidance...since my father, your brother is gone.

What do I look for in my mate?

I come to you for guidance... since my father is gone...

What path should I take?

I come to you for guidance...since my father is gone...

With my dreams and hopes and wishes.... my QUESTIONS...

Who will walk me down the aisle when I marry? Who will give me away?

Will you do my hair? Do you think I am beautiful?

I take a deep breath, praying for the right wisdom to share. To share with my dear sweet Ashlee what my brother might have told.

Yes, you ARE beautiful...without a doubt!

I want you to understand, and search for the truth of your heart as a woman. God has designed you. YOU are incredibly intelligent, creative and significant.

We as women long for romance. We long to be rescued. We long for a hero to steal us away, protection. We long to be beautiful. These longings do not make you weak, nor brainless, it is the design of God. Our hearts desire to be KNOWN!! To be fought for, to be pursued, to want an adventure to share that is bigger than that of one. To be delighted in.

We, as women...can not find ALL that we need, everyday, in a man ... as hard as he might try:) We are designed to dance with our Heavenly Father. He wants to take you in His arms and dance with you.. hold you tight...quiet your soul in the night and shelter you...He wants to make your soul sing... and your spirit laugh....to dance DANCE!!!

Someday, my Dearest Ashlee, God will send you the perfect, imperfect man just for you. I am praying every day that he meets your needs, protects you and nurtures you. Held safe in his arms during the night and he encourages you so that you can fly. That he is romantic and calls you just because, looks longingly at you even on your ugliest of days. Extends his hand to you even when your old and wrinkled...but, know this... your father, my brother - would say... no one will be good enough for his little princess!

Rest in the knowledge that your earthly Father is watching over you... that each step you take he loves you and IS proud of you... Know that each step you take along your path is guided by the hand of God...and He wants the best for you.. stay on His path..be true to your heart.. live today with joy..believe that you can do anything - because you can. Know that sometimes the best route for you is not the easiest.. follow your dreams....let your creativity and fearless nature take you where your hearts desires lay...for those, coupled with God's hand can lead you to your destiny. Not for the weak of heart....but for you. You are a princess.. but you are a warrior - fearless and and wholly beatiful.

I love you Ashlee

Auntie K